In this post, I say 'hoo-ha' and 'hot ass'

I took the liberty of extending the National Hurricane Center's forecast for this slow-moving beast they insist on calling 'Wilma'. Please note the red line: It's pointing at my house. No joke; the line leads directly to Fort Myers, right to the mouth of the river I live on. Cool.

Now, I know that this tropical hoo-ha could very easily fizzle out before moving into the Gulf, or, hell, maybe Wilma wants to be on Girls Gone Wild and plans on heading to Cancun. I don't know. I'm just incredibly impatient. If we're going to get a storm, I want it now, dammit. None of this checking the National Hurricane Center website three times a day for me. I'm a busy girl. I have phone calls to ignore, work to blow off, and tons of hot dates to go on.

Oh, hey, wait a minute...sorry, that last one is, in fact, not true. It's no matter; I wait for no one.

In the meantime, I have big plans to make. A few hours ago I sucked it up and bought my plane ticket to Costa Rica. I guess this means I'm going. Fortunately, I was able to find a travel companion, one that I've actually met. EB and I spent the worst summer of our lives together five years ago, working at an all-(rich) girls summer camp in northern Wisconsin. Oh, lord, I would need an entirely separate blog to explain the hell that was Summer 2000. I've been working so hard to repress those memories, but every so often I flashback to gangs of 13-year-olds bringing their 28-year-old counselors to tears through sheer brattiness. I credit that summer with igniting my fiery passion for booze.

In any case, we are going to Costa Rica and I am thrilled (if not somewhat surprised that my long dreamed-of trip appears that it may actually happen). I wanted to include some lovely Costa Rican visuals here, but nothing really tickled me when I searched Google Images. I did, however, find the picture below, which really pissed me off.


Seriously, who is taking pictures of my hot ass when I'm swimming? Gaw. There wasn't even a caption identifying me, "BPW & white thong hit the waves." I just want a little credit, that's all I'm saying.

Anyway, the big trip is February 20-28 -- you can still join in! After I looked at EB's itinerary, I do have to say that I have a better deal. Flying from Miami, I only have 2 1/2 hours of travel time, whereas she has 7 hours or so coming from SoCal (what is it with you people? You Californians seem to be everywhere I go). Whatever -- it's going to be a good time, thoughts of which will keep me going through these next few crappy weeks. Yesterday was my last day off until November 5th, and I guess you could say that I'm less than stoked. At least the lure of paid vacation will prevent me from quitting my job for at least the next four months. However, all bets are off when I return.