Not "any" more
I'm dropping the "any" from the end of my name. I've had one too many people ask if I was blonde after I answer the phone at work and say my name (not that there's anything wrong with blondes; I don't want to be accused of playing into any stereotypes just as my callers are. What bothers me is what I think the callers mean by "are you blonde?" is "oh [insert Butthead-like laugh here], that's your name? Hey, are you slutty?"). That and everyone automatically knows how old I am as soon as they hear my name. I'm kind of over the whole not being taken seriously thing because I'm a young female. Even our Board of Trustees don't take us seriously (I work with lots of young females; only one blonde). My favorite question from one of them -- at a professional function -- was, "What do you want to do when you're older?" Gee whiz, I want to be a ballerina, or an astronaut, or a veterinarian, or a rock star! Give me a break! "What do you want to do when you're older?" Well, I'm your assistant director, so I think I'm kind of doing it.
So, I have new business cards without the "any" on it, and they look quite nice. I have a hyphenated name, so it was cool to see some of the letters disappear [note to single men out there: I am not -- I repeat, NOT -- married, nor have I ever been. I was born with a hyphenated name. Why? Because my parents wanted to doom me to a life of perpetually filling in the name bubbles on forms. Some people are born music virtuosos; others are natural-born athletes. I was born with 14 letters and a piece of punctuation in my last name. I had the beginnings of carpal-tunnel syndrome by age 8, after death-gripping my #2 during those standardized tests of basic skills. "Oh, you get 200 points for filling in your name correctly on the SAT," people said later. Oh, really? Well, if I do that, I won't have time for the verbal section. And yet, when at 18 my dad told me I could drop his name from mine, I couldn't do it. The hyphen is who I am. The "any" not so much.].
Oy vey, that's what I have to say, and today I'm saying it in a different color (and -- look, I'm still not overusing this feature).
On tomorrow's agenda:
So, I have new business cards without the "any" on it, and they look quite nice. I have a hyphenated name, so it was cool to see some of the letters disappear [note to single men out there: I am not -- I repeat, NOT -- married, nor have I ever been. I was born with a hyphenated name. Why? Because my parents wanted to doom me to a life of perpetually filling in the name bubbles on forms. Some people are born music virtuosos; others are natural-born athletes. I was born with 14 letters and a piece of punctuation in my last name. I had the beginnings of carpal-tunnel syndrome by age 8, after death-gripping my #2 during those standardized tests of basic skills. "Oh, you get 200 points for filling in your name correctly on the SAT," people said later. Oh, really? Well, if I do that, I won't have time for the verbal section. And yet, when at 18 my dad told me I could drop his name from mine, I couldn't do it. The hyphen is who I am. The "any" not so much.].
Oy vey, that's what I have to say, and today I'm saying it in a different color (and -- look, I'm still not overusing this feature).
On tomorrow's agenda:
- Convince one of the camp staff that she is not, in fact, on the Real World: Fort Myers, so she need not booze it up every day and sleep with every guy that says, "hey, you're really tan for being from Ohio." There's no camera crew following you, girl.
- Find my desk. I'm pretty sure it's still in my office; I just can't see it under all the post-it notes.
- Margarita Pitcher Night at my bar! Tequila! Prizes! Ex-boyfriends! [note: I'm well aware that I am not on spring break or the Real World. I guarantee I'll be home by 10; this is my weekly ritual. Actually, I usually bring work with me; I redesigned the whole layout of our museum on cocktail napkins here one night.] [Why wasn't my nerd score from yesterday higher?]
Death to the "any"!
posted by BPDubs at 6:04 PM
2 Comments:
Wow - I know I said it before, but you are a phenomenal writer!
I have spent years getting over the young female thing ... and I actually AM blonde (and look about 12, even though I am 31). As a lawyer who works primarily against opposing counsel who are old, white men, this has been a challenge. Opposing counsel, as a general rule, will take ANY excuse to try to one-up their OC ... so these white men went straight for the jugular with my age and my Legally-Blonde-type appearance. After 2.5 years in the profession, I am FINALLY over it. I have also learned how to SHOW them that their remarks do not bother me - and to put them in their place without looking like I am being "too sensitive" (as they would believe all women to be, of course).
Hats off to the young women who are rocking this world. Pity to the old, rotting white men who cannot handle how threatened they feel by it.
As a former blonde then light brunette (throw in bleach blonde/pink/highlighted) now an unknown dark brunette with hints of red (maybe??); I can relate. kinda... All I know is that everyone loves my hair now (dark).
lol
I cracked up reading about your last name. A friend of mine from high school also had a hyphenated name (14 letters too!), she married a 'Watson' and couldn't be happier, lol
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